Growing up you have these big plans and dreams for yourself; I want to be a princess, an astronaut, a rockstar, or my personal favorite: a pet doctor. You look at the world with these big bright eyes and have trouble conceiving how any of this could not be possible. No one gives you the facts; you have to be born royal to be royal or marry into it and while you may be daddy’s little princess you are not America’s.

The Hard Questions of Life

And while the rest I’ve listed previously are more attainable than royalty my point is still there; when you are young you don’t think of the ways you can’t do something. But as you grow older you do. It seemed like when I hit the age of my teen years that is all I ever thought about; partially because that is all anyone wanted to know from me. What are you going to do with your life? What do you want to be? What are your plans on getting there?

I’ll put a pin on the idea of if we put too much pressure on the youth today for a later day. But the constant barrage of those questions made me think that people were only interested in me if I had something to say about that.

The answer of “I don’t know” isn’t good. It isn’t interesting.

And it’s also harder to answer that question when you feel like that little girl who still wants to just be a princess rockstar who saves animals in space.

Getting a College Education

When I got into college I was even more lost. And they say that you don’t necessarily have to have a major during your freshman year, that this is the time to find yourself, but it still puts a deadline on you. At some point you have to make a life decision; what degree do you want to spend thousands on?

I went to college hoping to figure that out. I took a bunch of random classes praying that something would strike my fancy. Alas nothing did and it felt like a waste of money and time being there. So I packed back for home and went to a local community college until I could figure things out. I thought at one point that I could go to art school to major in Fashion; whether it be merchandising or designing just anything.

But do you know what is more expensive than a private college with no degree picked? Art school! Really holds the tradition strong of being a starving artist. So I ran away from that dream and just completed a Business Administration degree.

Getting Into the Retail Industry

I fell into retail and at that point in time fell in love with it. I loved the fast pace environment, the connection you build with customers, and the leadership skills you build, and understanding business metrics. I was at a particular company for almost 5 years but by the end, my once full of passion drive drained. I had become lethargic, hated going to work. I had become bitter towards my career. Feeling stuck. But I did what I do best and ran away into the, arms of another company. I thought maybe I had just overstayed my welcome with the previous company and it was time for a new adventure. But that initial burst of happiness finally popped after a few months and I found myself back at where I had started; lethargic, bitter.

I tried my best to stay positive. I was applying for every nonretail job posted to all the job board platforms I could think of. I got a lot of sales job calls; not something I was entirely too thrilled about. Every time I got an email or phone call for a job interview the first thing I’d do is check the average salary for the job and was always saddened when I read it was much less than what I was currently making as a retail manager. I was dissatisfied with working retail but was not dissatisfied with the money.

Time for a Change

In December a few members of my immediate family got together for a surprise gathering. During which I was staying with my sister and her boyfriend. They kind of casually threw out that if I wanted to ever move down to Florida that I could always stay with them til I got on my feet. I kind of brushed it off. It would be a cool opportunity but not something I could ever see myself doing. I’m not adventurous; I’m practical. Thanks mom and dad! I needed stability, money, guarantees before I could make a move like that. I don’t live on a leap of faith.

But in the early Spring I had my last straw with my job; I won’t go into detail but let’s just say I wish there was a camera to capture my boss’s reaction to me turning in my two weeks. I called my sister and just confirmed that I really wanted to move there and if the offer of living with them was still on the table. It was. So during my last two weeks, I sold 90 percent of my belongings, stored the other percentage that wasn’t coming with me and drove down.

But I’m faced with the same dilemma I had been my entire life; What do you want to do?

Taking the Opportunity

This is my opportunity to really find my passion and go for it. Just take a bite out of life! The problem is my jaw isn’t as big as the bite I want to take is. You know what I’m talking about; when you have this nice, big, juicy burger in front of you and you go to take a bite but sadly realize your mouth just isn’t that big. I have a lot of dreams.

My problem is I just don’t know how to actualize them; what steps do I take to become a princess rockstar who saves animals in space?